I thought about posting the following link at the end, but I’d rather people buy this book, than read my blog. Truly.

And no! I am not in book cahoots with Gavin De Becker (I could only wish!). I just really think that every woman specifically, and person in general, should read this book (Click the pic icon!):

http://www.amazon.com/The-Gift-Fear-Gavin-Becker/dp/0440226198

Pimp-outs of life-saving books aside, I’ve always loved selling things door to door. Since I was a youngster reading comics, I was intrigued by the Olympic Sales Club ads, assuring me that the only reason I didn’t have cool geek toys was that I hadn’t tried hard enough.

Fast-forward, skipping details (for now!), and you have me selling M&Ms in my cheerleading uniform door to door, to raise money for our new uniforms!

Hundreds of doors went well. Then there was that one day. That one series of moments.

I cheerfully asked the dude peering out from his door if he’d like to buy M&Ms to support the cheerleading squad.

Was I serious? He wondered with his eyes.

He realized I was. And stepped out from behind the door. Before, I had just thought that I’d woken up some well-meaning single guy.

Meanwhile, here was this newly awakened person, stepping out from behind the door to reveal..his penis.

What happened to me in those next moments will be explained in a future installment. Somehow, I knew not to upset this guy, but that I needed to leave RIGHT NOW.

So I said something neurotically (craziest person in the room always wins), and headed down the steps…

…then WALKED REALLY FAST. I didn’t run. But I speed-walked like a superhero.

I can feel it all. The uniform in need of updating. The suntan No Nonsense hose on my leg. The Tri-County Flea Market scrunchee socks. The Keds.

All very adorable in theory for 1991, all very pounding the pavement with the beating of my pulse, that one October afternoon.

I had to get away.