Monthly Archives: May 2011

Rage.

“Sorry, I suffer from rage blackouts.” ~ Summer My mood was bad as I arrived home yesterday evening, due to a number of factors. One was my recurring wrist pain, which is not only painful and inconvenient, but also makes … Continue reading

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ShopRite Saturday Slam Book

Most Beautiful: The shiny, shiny pennies in Register One. I hate Register One, but these pennies made the time there worth it. Seriously, they were like, glowing. They reminded me of the coins in treasure chests that you see in … Continue reading

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Thoughts While Popping My “Alias” Cherry

– There are groceries…and there are liquor bottles…and there is a slushee machine? All in one place? That’s brilliant! Why don’t we have these stores in New York? – Yay, Greg Grunberg! Hi, Greg Grunberg! – Hot damn, Sydney! I … Continue reading

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Good Crack

I do this thing where I think I’m real sick But I won’t go to the doctor to find out about it ‘Cause they make you stay real still in a real small space As they chart up your insides … Continue reading

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Chips In My Hand, Chips On My Shoulder

“Oh, so it’s chips all around, is it? Someone must have bought the party pack.” ~ Spike Can I just say that I got suspended in 7th grade because I wouldn’t throw away my potato chips? True story. Let me … Continue reading

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Very Sexy, My Non-Skeletal Ass

Dear Victoria’s Secret, It would seem that you still want a relationship with me. Though I have not had anything to do with you since Bikinigate 2000, your catalogs continue to arrive in the mail, and you flood my inbox … Continue reading

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Tuesday Morning Chronicles

1. Lie in bed half awake for an hour, despite having gone to bed at 2 in the morning. 2. Reluctantly leave bed at 7:30. 3. Wander around, say good morning to cats. 4. Trip over clogs. 5. Give props … Continue reading

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