Author Archives: judisunshine

Dead Bodies and Bloated Heads

Do you know how many times I’ve thought of dying? Because there are so many. The first time I ever truly thought about killing myself was in the bathroom of my parents’ house back in 1997. I was 22. Then … Continue reading

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I Don’t Want To.

One of my favorite scenes ever is from “Felicity’s” “The List.” After a year of pining for Ben and finally getting to be with him, she realizes how much of herself she’s been compromising, just to not “freak him out.” … Continue reading

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Mixing Up the Routine

One reason I love yoga is that it reminds me of cheerleading. Including a downside, which is how when I first try a routine, I can’t keep up and am like omg I’ll never get this, and everyone is smart … Continue reading

Posted in Apartments & Other Domiciles, Body Image, Miscellaneous, Sports, Uncategorized, working out, yoga | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Wild Nights

[Books] were the world I could lose myself in when the one I was actually living in became too lonely or harsh or difficult to bear. I considered my options. There were only two and they were essentially the same. … Continue reading

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Shadows & Sunlight

Normally if I leave the office in the first place, it’s to go to Target or Safeway. Those are in a long row of stores where if you walk on the sidewalk, you’re in a shadow. When it’s cold, it … Continue reading

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I Am Hannah Baker (With Less Gorgeous Skin).

As I try to digest/get through “13 Reasons Why,” I’m realizing why I didn’t binge it through in the first place. It’s an ugly mirror. There is a part where amidst the saintifying of Hannah because she’s dead, someone says … Continue reading

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Today’s Coffee Was for the Birds

You know the saying that spilling your coffee is like the adult version of losing your balloon, or dropping your ice-cream cone? I think that is especially true if a) it’s your first of the day, b) it’s purchased from … Continue reading

Posted in Cats, Coffee, Driving & Other Transportation, Family, Food, Miscellaneous, Uncategorized, Women | Tagged , , , , , , | 2 Comments

October 26th

October 26, 1991 was a different kind of day than I was used to. Cheerleading had become my entire life since 1987, and cheering at a game was nothing unusual. But on 10/26/91, cheerleading was different. For one thing, we … Continue reading

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My Slumbering Heart

It’s become just like a chemical stress Tracing the lines in my face for Something more beautiful than is there I’ve barely been gone ~ Rilo Kiley My most oft-recuring dream varies in detail, but is always the same at … Continue reading

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Juicing, Day 11: Still in a State of Fail

Soooo, obvi, I’m not doing super well with my juicing, these past few days. And I haven’t really been eating a lot, save for the mashed potatoes from a bag and assorted other nonsense. But I will fix it. That … Continue reading

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