If You Haven’t Gone to Jared’s: Other Ideas for Valentine’s Day

One of my favorite Valentine’s Day as a single chick was when “Buffy” first came to VHS years before the glorious invention of TV on DVD. It was a two-pack tape of around six(?) episodes, plus bonus features from the Buffy/Angel arc of Season 2. Television excellence at its finest. I went to Roosevelt Field and picked it up, along with some sushi from the food court. I ate it in my bedroom while watching relationship turmoil unfold before my eyes, and it was a totally awesome Valentine’s Day.

I always liked Valentine’s Day, and chose to celebrate it, no matter what was going on — even if I’d just gotten dumped. Dude, it’s a time that celebrates hearts, flowers, and the color pink. I’m down. And yeah, it’s fun to be with someone on Valentine’s Day. But I had fun with it when I was single too. It’s a cool day. And like, you don’t have to be Irish to get drunk and wear green on St. Patrick’s Day, you know? Going out for a fancy dinner with your significant other and doing the whole jewelry/flowers/candy thing is totally awesome, if you’ve got someone to go with, and both people are into it! But the whole “He went to Jared’s” pressure has got to go IMO. There are ways to have fun with the day, whether you’re flying solo, hanging out with the girls, with an SO, or whatever! Celebrate the love!


Alterna-Valentine’s Day Ideas!

1. Go to a Salvation Army/Goodwill and look for the most ridiculous outfit you can. Try to find a Laundromat near a movie theater and bar. Wash the clothes while drinking cocktails. Then don your brand-new threads and go see “Valentine’s Day” starring the Taylors. That’s the ideal. Either way, get drunk and go see “Valentine’s Day.”

(Since the time of this writing, aforementioned movie brilliance is on DVD! Even more convenient.)

2. If you hate the holiday and/or are feeling particularly bitter, get some really delicious takeout of some sassy variety — spicy Indian food would be my personal recommendation, but whatever floats your boat. Then pair it witha double-feature of “The Craft” and “The Strangers.” (SPOILER ALERT!) Both have relationships ending horribly wrong.

3. If you are single with other single friends, or can get a group of friends to hang out together even though it’s usually a couple’s day, a la “Beverly Hills 90210” when the whole gang went out for David and Donna’s anniversary, hold a prom. It can be at someone’s place, at a bar, a club so you can dance — wherever. If you can, get a limo. But no matter what, get dressed up and make sure you get yourself a corsage!

4. Another idea for singles/likeminded couples — Valentine’s Day of Irony and Ambivalence! Get a couple of those heart-shaped pizza pans, and make your own pizza! Serve drinks with conflicting messages, like Sex on the Beach and Arrogant Bastard Ale. During the festivities, play a movie marathon, alternating things like “Love, Actually” and “Sleepless in Seattle” with horrific fare such as the “Saw” movies.

5. If there’s a bunch of you who are single and/or are half of a couple who doesn’t like Valentine’s Day, have an old-school slumber party. Rent a bunch of unabashedly girlie movies and give each other makeovers. Play MASH and Taboo. Enjoy the kind of night we used to take for granted when we were younger.

6. Do a Valentine’s Day bar crawl! This can be done in a group, or as a couple. Think of a Valentine’s Day-related theme and run with it. Do a sexy one — Sex on the Beach, Redheaded Slut, Blow Job shots (although don’t mix all those, because that would be pretty gross now that I think about it). Or go with the “Never Been Kissed” couples throughout the ages theme — Romeo and Juliet (erm…mead?), Micky and Mallory Knox (Bloody Marys), or Yuri and Lara from “Doctor Zhivago” (White Russians).

7. If you are single, create a “perfect evening.” Make a list of a bunch of your favorite things, and indulge yourself. It’s corny, but be your own valentine. Have your favorite meal, dessert, beverage. Watch your favorite movie, read from your favorite book, listen to your favorite music. Celebrate all of the things you love most, that are part of what make you, you.

8. Rock Band/karaoke parties rule. If someone in your group has Rock Band or a karaoke machine, make a night of it! Have fun with it by glamming/rocking out with your apparel. Spike your hair, put on a crazy belt, whatever! I’ve always found that costume themes tend to bring out the uninhibited side in people — perfect for a night of playing rock star! It’s very cathartic.

10. Make your own tradition. Whatever that means for you. Sorry for my lack of family ideas! I don’t have experience in that department. But whether you celebrate with your kids, or your girlfriend, or husband, or a group, or flying solo this time around the calendar — if Valentine’s Day affects you, even if it just makes you angry, find a way to make the day yours. Ignore it entirely, if that works for you. But if you don’t want to or can’t ignore it, find a way to make it as full of happiness and as absent of stress as possible.

Happy Valentine’s Day to you and those you love!

 

 

 

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