Intentionally Cheesy Movie Night 2: Stick It

Posted on February 3, 2012 by judisunshine

So last week I wrote about “Graduation Day,” and this week had the opportunity to watch yet another cheesy movie and I must say that Intentionally Cheesy Movie Night is a very satisfying way to start the week. I think I might make it a Sunday weekly tradition! ‘Cause Sunday evenings generally stress me out.

As always, I warn you that there will be spoilers.

Tonight’s movie:

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“Stick It”

Okay, “Stick It” is SO my new favorite movie. Well, you know, in that Perks of Being a Wallflower kind of way. It is my favorite movie today.

First of all, I will drag out the old list.

What I Looked For In A Movie
(Looked, because my tastes have expanded in leaps and bounds, but the list isn’t obsolete, just not a requirement anymore. I am learning how to be flexible!)

1. Girls.

Five stars! There was actually one scene with two men in it that I thought should be cut, but that was really more of an editing issue to me than anger that men showed up. Meanwhile, the dudes Haley, the lead character was friends with, were great. And Jeff Bridges was awesome. If you thought Jeff Bridges wouldn’t be awesome, then we need to have a serious discussion. But wait for after my “Iron Man” blog.

Anyway, see, I love “boy” stuff now! Always have. But traditionally, though I enjoyed my soldiers and digging holes in the yard, I truly loved Barbie and stuff about girls coming together (hold your horses) and making good teams. The Baby-Sitters Club is a perfect example. They were all different, in both looks and personality, and though they had relationship issues, the point was about their friendship and taking care of kids. Tween-friendly AND deep! Not that we called ourselves tweens back then.

But yeah, that’s me. As Elliot from “Scrubs” said, an eternal 13-year-old girl at heart, when it comes to this stuff. And so “Stick It” totally rocked this one out. Haley is my new girlfriend/hero. She rocked in a way that I can’t explain. And the other girls, at first, you think it’s gonna be a Lifetime movie where you hate everyone except Haley and Jeff Bridges, which could grow wearisome.

In the end, however, everyone ends up being awesome in a different way. It’s difficult to describe, but there was some really nice, unexpected character development in that movie.

So, yes. My kind of chick flick. Girlie to the max, but lots of cool action. Perfect combo.

2. Interesting-looking people. (I’d rather watch a bunch of interesting looking people than a bunch of plastic robots; even if the plastic robots are pretty, there’s only so attractive plastic can become.)

NO problem whatsoever here. It was a very strange-looking cast. But if you know me at all, you know I prefer that.

3. Badassery

Check! Haley took baths full of ice cubes and water, that’s how much she pushed herself AND was fierce. Also, that first half of the sentence makes it sound a lot dirtier than it was. No pun intended.

4.Confident yet non-misogynistic guys.

Absolutely! There were villainous guys, but the main point is that Jeff Bridges is awesome.

5. Talking.

Yeah. Some of the time, it was annoying, but have I mentioned that Jeff Bridges is awesome?

6. Tears.

Dude. Not only were their tears, there is a scene where Haley is on the balance beam, and this drop drips and bounces all artistically on the balance beam. You think it’s sweat, but then you see that is a tear! And either way are impressed when she does not slip on it and fall, which is totally what would happen in a lot of movies.

7. Despair.

The best kind of despair, where it never really even gets to show its face too much, because Haley is busy making the world a better place and inspiring her teammates. I am not making this up.

8. Death.

No! No death. But I was pretty glad about that.

9. Montages!

Dude. You don’t even understand. I will keep this short: I wished the montages were longer. When does that ever happen?

10. Horrible life events.

Only in a background, “Save the Last Dance” sort of way. But that stuff kind of dragged the story down, in my opinion. Not in the case of “Save the Last Dance,” because…you know what, now that we’re talking about “Save the Last Dance” (I love dancing movies only a little bit less than gymnastics movies), I realize that everyone in this world should see the following scene:

Okay, never mind. I went on Youtube to try to find that video where Seth on “The O.C.” is high and cries at “Save the Last Dance,” but all I got were puzzling links to Michael Buble. Then I widened the “O.C.” search, and I started to feel really queasy, there amongst the montage videos set to “The Reason” by Hoobastank. Montage should never be used for evil.

11. Sarcasm.

Not only did it have sarcasm, but it was like the movie kept switching around how they executed said sarcasm. It was like the time I was in fifth grade and in jazz class and rather than make up a routine, just pretended I was dancing with my girlfriends and freestyled to Madonna. Nothing planned, but it basically worked.

12. Intelligence.

Believe it or not, yes. In fact, both Haley and Jeff Bridges said some very deep quotes. That I did not write down.

13. Wit.

If I try to explain to you the wit of this movie, my brain might get too twisty. There were the randomest one-liners, particularly jarring because you don’t really watch “Stick It” for the scintillating dialogue. Well, I didn’t. But there was almost a…Shakespearian comedic setup to this movie. I sort of wish I was kidding, but I’m really not. The humor in this movie runs the gamut. I shouted out very “Saved By the Bell” audience-esque, “OHHHHHHH!!!”s more than a few times to some good burns that you’d expect in a movie called “Stick It.” But then there were times like when Josie said something mean and Haley totally CALLED her on it, reason number 742 why I totally love her. So I’m all excited, watching Haley defend this other woman, thinking, “What a deep and emotionally satisfying scene.”

But then out of NOWHERE, Josie steals the show by saying this:

“It’s not called ‘gymNICEtics.'”

Glorious.

14. A communal gathering place; e.g., Luke’s, Joe’s.

Almost better than a communal eat-/drinkery is a school and/or team. My love of gymnastics and cheerleading are very intertwined. I couldn’t pursue gymnastics due to my body’s, erm, *rebellion,* but I think cheerleading was a better fit for me in the long run.

All of which is to say that I of course fell in love with the gymnasium in “Stick It.” You have no idea the thrill it used to give me, back in elementary school when it was Gymnastics Season. The whole gym was filled with mats and equipment, and for me, it was the equivalent of a carnival appearing at the train station, or Christmas morning. Any movie that can remind me of that feeling is all right in my book.

15. Weird lighting that fits the mood.

Well. At one point, there was a truly fantastic dream sequence, and it was a little grainy. And the scenes where Haley is a dirt biker (I think, sorry if I’m wrong, I had a pink 10-speed) were kind of more “We’re the ‘intelligent’ new show on the (RIP) WB,” lighting-wise.

But mainly, there was really bright, trippy lighting that was super. The gymnasium was red and white, which of course made my over-associative brain reminded of Red Stripe. You can’t put Red Stripe into the equation and not feel better.

16. Groups of misfits forming unlikely bonds.

In the “Bleach” and “Heroes” meets “Swan’s Crossing” kind of way.

17. The geek getting the girl/guy.

Yes! There was that one shaggy dude who was totally the guy I would have gone for when I was like, 18. Usually, those guys get misunderstood by society and women. But in this case, he totally humanized the worst yet/therefore awesomest girl, Josie, when he fell for her and she out of nowhere became so sweet in her own weird way.

18. Personal growth.

Personal growth, like many other issues, is something that I really should avoid talking about if I’m not going to like, set aside an evening to drink tea while discussing it.

19. Preferably, a meaningful goodbye at some point.

I don’t think so :-/

Anyway. I’m not happy to have only 19 criteria on the list, so here is my addition of:

20. Awesome music.

This movie was a tad uneven, music quality-wise, but got it right more than it got it wrong.

So. What is your “list?” If you needed to hand a list of qualities to someone who had to go pick the movie you had to marry, sickness and health-wise. The kind that you’d bank on never getting sick of. What would be your list? And what are some movies that fit those criteria for you, and why? My top three, list-fulmillment-wise: “Clueless,” “The Craft,” and the newer “Little Women.” The stuff I could watch when I have a stomachache or am upset pissed, whatever. Like the comfort food of movies. Discuss your cinematic Ben & Jerry®.

©June 1, 2008

Posted in Body Image, Celebrities, Friends, Intentionally Cheesy Movie Night, Movies, School, Sports, Women | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Stop Me When I’m Passing By

Posted on February 1, 2012 by judisunshine

When we moved into our first house, I was 5 and three quarters, and excited for myriad reasons. Obviously, there was more space in a house than a one-bedroom apartment. But there was also treasure at every turn. The place we’d moved into had not been very well cleaned out, in the good way, so there was a Mr. Potato Head and Toss Across upstairs, and a fairy costume in the basement!

But what really got me excited was the garage. Oh, the garage. Everything had a potential purpose; every newly acquired discovery was a great summer day waiting to happen. Shovels = countless hours digging a hole, because I really did think I could reach China. Seeds = not actually planting anything, more just being obsessed with seeds because they were so cool and full of possibility. So on, so forth.

You can understand then, the logical conclusion that I must build an ice cream truck. Because I found a red wagon. It made perfect sense. Borrow a friend’s Hot Wheels, hitch it up to the wagon, get some ice cream, and go!

Problem One: My friends thought it was a dumb idea and would not lend me their Hot Wheels. So I had to make do with Ollie. I don’t know if anyone out there knows what I’m talking about, but he was a ’70s staple, basically a U-shaped yellow piece of plastic, with wheels, cartoon eyes, a tuft of red hair, and a red nose. Not that easy to navigate, but Ollie was loyal and I loved him and decided I was better off sharing my amazing idea with him instead of some unappreciative Hot Wheels. Some twine and a jump rope, and Ollie was all hitched up to the wagon. Problem solved.

Now that I had transportation, I set into what was really important to me: making the signs and drawing the pictures. This was pre-cheerleading, so I hadn’t quite mastered the paint marker/glitter art of it all, but I was intensely committed to this project. Every piece of ice cream must look just right. Eventually, it was just perfect, and I affixed it to the wagon.

Problem Two: I didn’t know how much to charge for everything. Much effort and time was spent consulting people for pricing opinions. All anyone really said was, “I don’t think this is going to work.” Useless. Not constructive at all.

Until Problem Three: One of my neighbors actually seemed interested in my project, and thought it was cool that I was so ambitious. Curiously, he asked, “How are you going to keep the ice cream cold?”

Oh, dear.

I figured out a way, think double-boiler setup but with ice cubes, to keep the ice cream cold for a while. I wouldn’t be able to venture out for the entire day as I had hoped, but wait until I started making money and the neighborhood caught on – then I’d be able to work out a more efficient system.

Problem Four: I had no ice cream, and no money.

This was a bit of a setback, but I decided that I’d done a lot of work for the day and had perhaps reached the point of diminishing returns. The next day, I would figure out a way to get investors, then hit up the inexplicably cheap dairy a few blocks away. Everything would work out. I’d get up bright and early and ride off in my newly constructed vehicle.

Which I left outside. That night, it rained. My beautiful cardboard sign was destroyed. The twine and jump rope were tight and twisted, made angry and more powerful by the rain. And Ollie’s little tuft of hair was soaked beyond repair, in that way only old yarn can get.

Of course I was distraught, and knew I had only myself to blame for leaving it outside. Everyone comforted me though, by saying that it probably wouldn’t have worked, anyway. At all. What a bad idea.

I’d rather have failed, found that out on my own. Ridden until the truck fell apart or the ice cream melted. Just so long as I’d tried.

©April 28, 2008

Posted in Childhood, Driving & Other Transportation, Food, Friends, Miscellaneous, Restaurants, Work | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Intentionally Cheesy Movie Night 1: Graduation Day

Posted on January 26, 2012 by judisunshine

“The seniors at Midville High are DYING TO GRADUATE…”

$3.99.

Obviously, I needed to buy this movie. Or rather, convince my friend to buy it since I was sans cash. Though I would have sold myself on the street to get it if need be. Not really, I had cash in the car. But I could not have been more excited about the movie.

As you can imagine, “Graduation Day” is fantastic. Everything you’d hope for in such a film was there. Including Vanna White in scenes where I swear I don’t think anyone wrote these scenes. She and some other chick act like semi-drunk girls in Acting 101. Awkward and REALLY freaking loud. And talking over each other but not in a realistic way, in a really unfortunate improv scene kind of way.

There is a Youtube video WordPress won’t let me post, of all the deaths. It lasts 4 minutes and 23 seconds. Think about that for a second, especially when you consider that there is a gloriously awful song in the movie that lasted seven and a half minutes and is so loud you can’t even hear the dialogue over it.

Seriously, great movie.

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Posted in Intentionally Cheesy Movie Night, Movies, Supernatural :o, Women | 1 Comment

An Unstoppable Force

Posted on January 22, 2012 by judisunshine

It was a year ago today. Across the floor, in the art studio, everyone buzzing that someone had died. Then I heard “Heath Ledger” and my heart dropped. My brain started vibrating and ringing and all I could make out was “We lost another one.” And everything changed. Though I practically drool with empathy, I’m not usually that affected by celebrity death, or celebrity in general. This was different.

I wanted to write about it then. But I couldn’t. And I thought a year later I’d be better equipped. Not so much. I think I know though, a little, why Heath Ledger’s death hit so hard for so many people, and still is. He died, but there was this…this thing that was still out there. Everyone knew he was going to be a great Joker, but just HOW great he was, there’s just no wrapping the brain around it. That was more than just acting; it was transcending something that I can’t even fathom.

I wanted to see “The Dark Knight,” but I dreaded it more. I felt, walking to the movie theater, like I was going to a funeral. All the months of knowing that he was gone, but there was still this big thing that he had done. I didn’t want to let it go.

And I was afraid. However and why ever Mr. Ledger got into drugs, you can’t convince me it was just to be some kind of junkie. Not with the performance he gave. He leapt into madness and swam around in it until he was done creating one of the most magnificent roles that I’ve ever witnessed.

So today, I just want to pay tribute to a great artist of his time, who died way before his time. And as the Oscar® nominations are currently going on, I don’t need to look to see that Heath Ledger will receive one, a year after leaving this earth. And even if he was still alive, it could not be more deserved.

Rest in peace, Heath Ledger. Thank you for creating some of the most remarkable art I’ve ever experienced. You will be remembered.

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Posted in Celebrities, Driving & Other Transportation, Movies, Superheroes/Villains | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

Dates & Dickiegrams

Posted on January 19, 2012 by judisunshine

My first boyfriend was named Dick. We began our relationship in the fourth grade, when our mutual friend Jeffrey Paradise brought me a “Dickiegram” on the playground at lunch. I’d never received such a message, but was excited. Dick was very cute but very shy, and it was pretty common to ask someone out via messenger. At nine years old, that still called for remarkable bravery. So as Jeffrey stood there informing me that “Dick wanted to go out with me,” my body experienced that sensation where it fell away, things went white, and appeared to buzz for the rest of the day.

So this is what it’s like to have a boyfriend, I thought to myself as I headed back to the classroom upstairs, after lunch. I was pleased. And when I saw Jeff relaying the good news to Dick in front of Mrs. Friedman’s classroom, I realized this was all very grown-up, indeed. Jeffrey was smiling, and Dick’s face was red and bearing a look of disbelief and excitement.

True love.

How exactly I got permission to go on this date, I don’t know. In all likelihood, I didn’t ask for it. The date was for lunch; what did my parents need to know about such things? Details were hammered out during lunch summits with Jen and of course Jeff, who acted as ambassador to Dick. We were to go to Bagelmania. Which meant two huge deals: my first date AND my first time going out to lunch during school hours!

Not to mention that it was also Bicycle Safety Day. I rode the bus to school, and greatly envied the freedom of those who could ride bikes instead, every day. Even as I type this, I remember…

…gliding in smoothly to the school on that late spring day. In 1985, I felt certain that my worldliness was envied by many. On top of being an awesome bicyclist, I was wearing my carefully planned outfit: fluorescent blue polo shirt neatly tucked into my white pants with bright blue pin stripes. The most important acquisitions of all though, were my blue fluorescent socks (the most elusive of all neon socks) and the fluorescent blue lace bow in my hair, a la early Madonna.

I looked very glamorous, yet understated. That was what I was going for. Cool girls went on dates, and today that is what I was. Trying to remain humble, I locked up my bike and went inside, eagerly anticipating lunchtime.

When that fateful hour arrived, I was so scared! That white woosh-woosh feeling had returned. As I walked to Bagelmania, I whispered to my friend Jen how nervous I was, and wondered if Dick was telling Jeffrey the same thing, as they walked 10 feet behind us.

Lunch was lovely, a very special first date. My everything bagel with butter was the best I’d ever had, and from across Bagelmania’s tiled floor, Dick looked like he was having a great time, as well.

However, my next 24 hours were spent in dreadful suspense. I had yet to receive a Dickiegram, or anything indicating that he was still my boyfriend after our date. Where is Jeffrey? I worried as time passed oh so slowly the next day, spending my drab, non-date lunch filled with worry. What had I done wrong? Maybe he didn’t like fluorescent blue.

But then, who should appear next to my usual spot on the balance beam of yore, but Dick himself! His face was red and his hands shook as he handed me a dollar bill. Now granted, he was my first date and I did not yet know about hookers, but that just seemed * off * to me.

“For your bagel,” he almost whispered. “It was a date, I wanted to pay, but I didn’t have enough.”

“Oh!” I exclaimed, as my heartbeat flipped from fearful to nervous about talking to my boyfriend for sure. “Thank you!”

It could not last, but while it did, it was…pretty much the same. Only minus the date. Then he dumped me. But it was all good. Thanks to Hurricane Gloria, I had my newfound pyromania to console me. Ah, youth.

Posted in Childhood, Food, Friends, Going Out, Restaurants, Romance, School, Women | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

Blonde Moments: Signs & Puppies

Posted on January 16, 2012 by judisunshine

So I was driving on the parkway today and I look up and see one of those signs that are kind of like scoreboards? Where they basically spend tons of money to post irrelevant blather. Usually it’s along the lines of, “Traffic moving well to Exit 30,” which is true if you view “well” as a subjective term. Sometimes it’s about roadwork that’s going to take place in December 2013 at four in the morning on a Tuesday. Every now and then it reminds us to buckle our seatbelts, and you think to yourself that if they’re going to do that, it could at least be obnoxiously entertaining like Eartha Kitt in the taxicabs.

Today, however, the sign was *unusual.* It said “SIGN TEST.” And when I tell you I spent at least a solid two minutes wondering what that meant, I am being conservative. I kept waiting for pictures of signs to pop up, like, “Yes, that one means ‘Yield’ — good job, Judith!” It occurred to me that maybe I was supposed to look around for signs and my observational skills were being tested. Eventually I realized, oh. They’re testing the sign to make sure it’s working. Sign test. Mystery SOLVED.

And speaking of signs. There was a dramatic afternoon a couple of years ago. Shannon and I had eaten lunch together and on the way back she saw a poster that upset her greatly. There was a sign, you see, advertising “Lab Puppies For Sale.”

How SAD, these poor puppies! They must have been tested on and now the labs didn’t want them anymore and were selling them, but who in the world would want to buy a messed-up puppy?

Me, of course! The poor puppies! How though, would I convince my landlord to let me have a puppy on top of my two cats? And was I myself ready for the commitment? I’d never even had a healthy puppy, never mind a sick one.

No matter. I got my Emma Nelson on and marched over to Babz’s desk, as she was very good at helping me plot random schemes in lieu of working.

“Babz, do you want a puppy?” I began, and she was like, “Um.” But then I explained the sign, fully expecting her to be all, “Oh no!” and maybe work up the enthusiasm to get a puppy as well.

“Judi…I think that sign meant lab puppies, as in, Labradors. ”

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

I immediately emailed Shannon with the good news that the puppies were safe. But I must admit that I was slightly sad. I’d gotten kind of psyched for my phantom puppy. Maybe one day. Awwwwww.

©May 22, 2008

Posted in Animals, Driving & Other Transportation, Friends | Tagged , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

Catering To The Classes

Posted on January 14, 2012 by judisunshine

So back when I was a senior in high school, I decided that I wasn’t quite enough of a Sharon Cherske from “My So-Called Life,” maybe because that show didn’t exist then, more’s the pity, because man I could have used some perspective on these things, but anyway, since cheerleading season was over and I now had a few free hours in the week, I decided to start a catering business. Obviously.

It all began when the caterer for the Valentine’s Banquet cancelled at the last minute. This alarming news was revealed in Student Council one day. After a tragic crash and burn attempt at becoming Vice President in my junior year, I was allowed to come on as a class representative in the next.

And dude, I’d given my heart and soul and time into the glitter posterboard signs for this major event. I was still in the deep love throes of high school, and I’ve mentioned my abstinence, so nights where you got to dress up and sit in your gym under streamers were highly important. The idea of replacing an elegant catered meal with pizza, as was suggested in the meeting? Unacceptable.

Some people say that television is evil, and it certainly can be, but then there is the awesomeness of that little trigger it puts in you, at least growing up in the ’80s, because there was NOTHING you couldn’t do when the chips were down and morale was high! Never mind the movies — “Baby Boom” alone. Who knew applesauce could be so magical and bonding?

“Baby Boom” was obviously not on anyone’s mind, as they told me that my suggestion that I do the catering was a bit *mad.* But those are my favorite schemes! All’s the better! I banged it all out in my mind and presented a plan. It helped that Michelle liked the idea. Michelle was captain of cheerleading, and president of student council, and one of the nicest and most energetic girls. She also was one of the hardest workers I’ve ever known. I’m a bit *flighty* and work well with people like Michelle. They help me with the elusive follow-through.

And as president, she had pull. So the faculty advisor looked on worriedly but unobtrusively as I impassionedly pleaded the heresy of advertising a catered dinner, then serving pizza. Pizza is awesome, but all romanticism aside, I also hate false advertising.

We went to B.J.’s and bought a bunch of chicken, pasta, meat, and everything necessary to make an Italian dinner.  Luckily, Michelle’s mom was a great cook and her parents not only didn’t mind that we’d commandeered their kitchen to make serving tray after serving tray filled with food, but they helped us. And Shannon was there, which worked out well, because Michelle’s dad was highly amused at tiny Shannon’s ability to polish off a pint of Ben & Jerry’s Heath Bar Crunch.

It was a lot of work, but amazingly enough, the food was good and we’d gotten it done! And there’s nothing like that beautiful feeling when every part of you is aching with exhaustion, but it’s all from having just pushed through. It was like a great workout, or completing a kickass paper at 4 a.m. Like I said, I’m good at ideas and enthusiasm, but not at finishing the task, and I was impressed by how much it helped, just having a nice group of people to get things done with. Accountability goes a long way.

The dinner was a success! People seemed to genuinely enjoy the food, and the faculty volunteers and parents who were there to assist with the banquet’s execution seemed really appreciative of all the work we’d put into making the meal, and really made it so that Michelle, Shannon, and I had a lot of time to just enjoy the party itself, which was extremely nice, since we’d figured we’d have to spend the whole time working. Instead, they told us we’d done enough work, and to only help when absolutely necessary.

The pièce de résistance was dessert, Make Your Own Sundae. It is my firm belief that most of life’s problems can be solved by people coming together and making their own sundaes, or pizza, and it is one of my Great Dreams to one day have a birthday party at Build-a-Bear or a crafts party place, and get guys to go. That would be an amazing time.

And sure enough, people made their own sundaes. Laughs were had. Tears were shared. And the goth chick got with the jock, and the preppy girl got with the bad boy…

…okay, not really. But it was a good night : )

Posted in Childhood, Food, Friends, Miscellaneous, School, Women | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Video Games of My Life

Posted on January 13, 2012 by judisunshine

My relationship with video games, much like comics, has always been weird, sporadic, and old-school. Although I can’t work a 360 controller to save my life, there have been many a time when I’ve been completely obsessed with video games. So today, I would like to share with you, the video games of my life!

frogger Pictures, Images and Photos

Frogger

My childhood best friend had an Atari, and I was like, obsessed with it. The concept was so cool, and if it had been up to me, I would have played Atari all day long. Frogger was my favorite. I am honestly not sure why; it just was. I’m not even that good at it. But I still love it. The worst is when you’re right up to that little box thingy at the end, and you miss it by a hair and go SPLAT right there in the water. That, or when that evil snake appears out of nowhere and tries to kill you >:o

Q-Bert Pictures, Images and Photos

Q-bert

One of my friends growing up had a really nice computer, especially for the time. This was in 1984 – not that common to have a home computer, and this thing was a lot nicer than most at that time. OMG, remember cassette tapes for computers? Anyway, she had Q-bert on her computer, and I just thought this was the best game that ever existed. I played for hours and hours. You can imagine my excitement when I went to Gadgets, or Our Place, and they had Q-bert, because not many arcades did. Unfortunately, the arcade game was much harder for me. Here is my haiku about that:

Falling off the cubes
Embarrassment at Our Place
Epic fail for me

*Update from the future! The Manitou Springs penny arcade has a Q-bert game! My life is complete.

..

That Baseball Game Robb Had

My parents were very strict about video games, and we didn’t have a system. But one summer, Robb somehow finagled a baseball game out of them. It was just one game, and all I really remember about it is the dorky announcer’s voice: “SINgle.” “DOUble.” “HOME RUN!” Also, the game used to freeze and kind of go in slow, jerky-motion. But basically that game and Martika define my summer of ’89. Once the perm started growing out, of course.

pitfall Pictures, Images and Photos

Pitfall

My first cousin once removed had this game. I saw her infrequently, but I vividly remember hanging out with her one day and playing it for hours and hours. I thought it was the best thing ever. Plus, my godmother took us to White Castle that day.

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Hunchback

Back in the day, Robb used to borrow his friend Joe’s Gameboy and keep it like, all summer long. And of all the games I could have played to keep up with mainstream society, I pick the one that nobody (whom I’ve talked to) has ever heard of. I don’t remember much about this game besides the pulsating black flames (I don’t think that’s what they were though). You jumped into them and they’d take you away somewhere. The weird thing about this game though is, despite not remembering many details, more than any other Gameboy game, I feel like I just played it last week.

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TMNT

Yay! I loved this game, although I could only get to a certain point, then no further. Kind of like how I am with most video games. And math. Ohhhh, maybe there is a connection! Anyway, I played this a lot when I liked not one, but two boys named Mike, so I usually played as Michelangelo.

lakitu Pictures, Images and Photos

That Individual Mario Game Robb Had

I remember nothing about this game except effing Lakitu (sp?) kept messing things up and I think throwing hammers at me. Also, this was the first “real, modern” video game I played, and it kept me from sleeping. The game would just go in my head, on a loop.

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Tetris

Dude. I LOVE TETRIS!!!!! It is the best game ever. Whether on Gameboy, in the arcade, on the computer, Tetris kicks ass. And I can understand it, which is always a good thing. My favorite of all Tetris incarnations was the Super Tetris. You got the cutest little bombs! And the backgrounds are really creepy.

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Qix

My friend’s family had this game on their Commodore 64. All I remember is you had to box off areas, and they’d turn colors. I was really good at it, and spent hours playing it, but I don’t remember the name, and it’s driven me crazy for many years. 22, to be exact.

^^^ Update from the future! That is what I wrote in 2008, minus the name and picture. But Gabe figured out what game I meant, saving the day and freeing up space in my brain! Thanks Gabe!!!

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Mickey’s Castle of Illusion

You know the expression “off like a prom dress?” Well not only did my prom dress stay on, but I spent the entire next day alone with my date…playing Mickey’s Dream Castle. Fun game! And very metaphorical. RUN AWAY FROM THE APPLE OF TEMPTATION!

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Sonic the Hedgehog (I & II)

My parents made my brother go to an all-boys Catholic high school in Queens, so as a consolation prize, they bought him a Sega. This worked out very well for me because I got to play it without going to an all-boys school. Although that would have been fun. Just like “Just the 10 of Us!” That show = always relevant. Anyway, I loved the Sonic games. I preferred one ’cause it was more straightforward, and didn’t have Tails flipping around, distracting me at every turn. And I know I am NOT the only one afraid of drowning in that water. It’s so SAD!!! With the bubbles, and stressful with the sped-up music. My parents went away with my brothers one week and I literally spent days playing Sonic (I think I skipped school) and I was too afraid to sleep because the bubbles o’ death gave me nightmares.

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Mario Kart

“Here we go!” “Ahhhwowowowowowow.” Those are the sounds of Toad, but I do not know this from firsthand experience, because nobody ever lets me be Toad. It’s so SAD! Everyone tries to make me be Princess Peach, and I hate her (sorry Ben!). Still, Mario Kart is a really fun game, and good for me, ’cause you don’t need to use a lot of buttons! Plus, it’s really pretty. Frappe Snowland is so beautiful! And got me some interesting friend requests when it was my Myspace name awhile back.

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Family Feud for Sega

Seriously. It’s amazing what abstinent couples will do for fun.

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Super Marioland

One summer night in 1991, I spent an entire night alternating between playing Super Marioland and reading Portrait of Jenny, start to finish. This is probably my favorite Gameboy game.

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Ms. Pac-Man

I LOVE THIS GAME!!!!! When I was younger, the grocery store by my house had it in the vestibule, and when I would go with my parents on seven-hour-long shopping trips, I’d watch other people play, because I never had my own quarters. I’d also pretend to play with the example game. I think I somehow memorized the game, and that is why I truly rock at Ms. Pac-Man. Well, for me, as far as these things go. One thing that bothers me though is that at a certain point, you keep repeating boards, and you just have baby after baby. Like, that’s very nice and all, but the stork thing gets old. Maybe send me and the Mister on a cruise! “Act Four: They travel!” Regardless, it is a wonderful, classic game, and superior to plain Pac-Man. Especially on Atari. What was up with that? Regular Pac-Man was this big, slow-moving pie, and the pellets were rectangles, whereas Ms. Pac-Man was all fancy and had real pellets. Weird.

©November 9, 2008

 

Posted in Childhood, Lists, Video Games | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments

Red Faced At Red Lobster

Posted on January 12, 2012 by judisunshine

What I need you to do is take everything you think you know about working in a restaurant, tear it up, stomp on it, set it on fire, and throw it out the window into a pool of gasoline. Wait, I should clarify that I don’t mean this literally, lest I be accused of inciting mayhem. But figuratively speaking, do all that, and you can mentally approximate a Saturday night in Red Lobster Carle Place.

Red Lobster was…wow. It was something else on a grand epic scale. Restaurants are always pretty intense, but Red Lobster took things to a whole other level. First of all, they made the restaurant bigger but they only moved the headstones, because the kitchen itself was never expanded. You had X number of tables in “The New Room,” which incidentally was 40 miles from the kitchen, and therefore more servers, more guests, etc. But the kitchen was the same size – way too small now!

So getting through the Red Lobster kitchen on a Saturday night was the equivalent of maneuvering your way through a packed club, only here you couldn’t drink alcohol, were probably in a screaming fight with another server, and had to somehow manage to get your drink from Garfield, who always looked *surprised* to get drink tickets. I remedied this by tipping him 10 dollars each night. Worth every penny, as those around me were mystified at my drinks’ being ready within the hour.

Getting the food was also a tough order of business. Not unlike Boulder Creek last summer when cold side went on strike, at Red Lobster, you could not get your appetizers. No. Every now and then if he felt magnanimous, Duckie could get motivated to throw some zucchini or mozzarella sticks in the fryer, but anything else and you were SOL. Lobster stuffed mushrooms either came out in 2 minutes and looked beautiful, or, after much weeping and gnashing of teeth, they’d arrive half an hour later, tiny little burnt balls swimming in a pool of grease. Not yours to decide. And God help you if you were a new server and Red Lobster was making one of its balls-of-steel attempts to sell Lobster Pizza appetizers. Awesome in theory. And every now and then on a slow Wednesday afternoon when Eulyses was cooking, you’d see a golden-brown stack of lobstery goodness waiting for you in the window within 20 minutes and breathe a deep sigh of relief, because try as you might, you could not talk your guests out of ordering it. That’s something you learn during your first week of training: Whatever you do, do NOT sell the lobster pizza. Because for every 20-minute pizza of perfection, you had 14 charred messes that began falling apart the second you got them an hour after crying to Maxi that you needed your appetizer because the dinners were up, and HELP, and good Lord, those pizzas were a nightmare.

The conundrum was, you had to kind of hope that your guests would order appetizers despite the hassle, because the Cheddar Bay biscuits were never ready and you literally had to elbow others out of the way in order to grab from the fresh, half-raw/burnt-to-a-crisp batch. So if guests didn’t order an appetizer, they’d be sitting there with no food for an hour while the kitchen ran out of tartar sauce, cocktail sauce, drawn butter, and blue cheese dressing all at once, then collapsed on itself like a dying star ™Jan.

Every now and then the A.C. (expo, FQI, same thing FYI har har) would have a moment of clarity, and a meal or two would arrive in the dining room with minimal errors. If Sandy was A.C., the ball would stay rolling and that was totally worth getting called a “dirty server” all night long.

But more often than not, the night was pure, unadulterated chaos.

One such Saturday night, the place was particularly packed. Back then, there were few booths, so if you worked on the lower level of the main dining room, getting across the floor was like a battle scene. Duck, cover, weave, ignore the glares all around you as guests wondered where their food was. Just get to the other side, and get out alive.

You know how sometimes in restaurants, different groups of workers go through phases of rebelliousness? Like the previously mentioned Cold Side Strike of ’07, or the “Hair ties? We don’t need no stinking hair ties!” Take-Back-the-Night Rally currently taking place at Boulder. Well, the Red Lobster hosts had been playing “Hide the Silverware” for a good month at this point. You see, the hosts are supposed to seat guests with silverware, because that just makes sense in the grand scheme of things, efficiency-wise. On a Saturday night, having to get silverware as a server with the place being so packed threw quite the wrench into your barely maintained sanity.

I don’t really need a wrench, you know?

After my 27th trip to the podium that night, I tried to be whimsical, but my panic was palpable.

“Who do I need to sleep with around here to get silverware on my tables???” I cried in desperation.

Everyone laughed, but I’d been *noticed.* They saw me. They being two of my male managers, who could barely keep from cracking up as they pulled me aside later that night, as the restaurant emptied and the former battlefield was littered with long-forgotten crab shells and other assorted filth, because no, we had no bussers. God, those weekend nights at Red Lobster were hard!

So the last thing I needed at the end of a Saturday was to get counseled about sexual harassment and why I shouldn’t do it. But that’s where I found myself, being laughed at by one manager who was mad cool, and another who was cool but had a crush on me and complained that I never beeped him.

See, we’d had a meeting that very day about the severity of sexual harassment. A meeting that was beautifully mocked even as it went on, with Steve saying that he only worked there for the sexual harassment, and Lo getting up, shaking her body, and declaring that “All of this, is for him,” about another coworker.

You can see why I wouldn’t expect to be the one getting in trouble for such a thing, but there I was. My managers told me they had to say they talked to me just to cover their own backs, because I offered to exchange sex for stainless steel in front of a lot of people who could claim being unfairly singled out, should they get in trouble in the future.

Whatever the reason, once my face finally went from beet-red to bright pink, I was already realizing just how awesome it was that I of all people, Miss Judi Freaking Sunshine, at Red Lobster, where only the strongest survive, was being singled out as a potential threat, even if it was just a formality. Especially when both my managers said that they’d always have silverware for me wink wink, and I knew the Natural Order Of Inappropriateness had been restored.

Posted in Food, Restaurants, Work | Tagged , , , , , | 10 Comments

Cool Kids Eat Waxed Cheese

Posted on January 11, 2012 by judisunshine

Why, you see, the girls are always buying them, and unless you want to be thought mean, you must do it too. It’s nothing but limes now, for everyone is sucking them in their desks in schooltime, and trading them off for pencils, bead rings, paper dolls, or something else, at recess. If one girl likes another, she gives her a lime. If she’s mad with her, she eats one before her face, and doesn’t offer even a suck. They treat by turns, and I’ve had ever so many but haven’t returned them, and I ought for they are debts of honor, you know.

~ Amy March

The other day, I was telling people about how my parents were “healthy parents,” aka, the bane of a kid’s existence. They listened in horror as I threw out phrases such as “Wheat Nuts,” “dehydrated apple bits,” and “carob.”

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I wasn’t allowed to drink soda, and McDonald’s was a great epic event. No beautiful white Wonder® Bread for the spreading of Skippy peanut butter and Smucker’s grape jelly; no, we had whole wheat and multi-grain bread for all-natural preserves and that sugar-free peanut butter that has two inches of oil on top of it.

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Though this was not ideal in certain ways, I respected that my parents cared about my health. If I ever have kids, I will definitely try to keep them healthy, but now and again, they should get to show up to school with whatever food is “cool” nowadays (thenadays?).

I grew up in the ’80s, when more kids (and adults) were getting steady diets of fast food, sugar, and processed stuff up the yin yang than ever before. So there were a lot of kid-“friendly” snacks going down in the ’80s. But there were only a few foods that broke away from the pack and distinguished themselves as extra-special — must-haves that could really bond kids together. Here were some that were very important during my own elementary school years:

Fruit Roll-Ups

Oh yes. Witness Judd Apatow’s utter obsession with putting Fruit Roll-Ups in every project he’s connected to. Fruit Roll-Ups were an amazing invention, because you could really assert your individuality while eating the same thing as everyone else. Some kids were purists and would just peel the snack off the wrapping and just chew it like that. Some were pickers, and would peel it off bit by bit, making it last. I was a sucker, and yes, I realize that is very hilarious, but keep in mind, I was seven and don’t be perverted. But I just thought it was really cool, the power to turn your hand into a snack, and…I’m just gonna leave this one alone. Point is: If you didn’t have Fruit Roll-Ups, it was very hard for you to fit in at lunchtime. Don’t get me wrong; I usually had to make do with the real-fruit “roll-ups,” but they worked, though they’d get more lumpy and grainy after you sucked on them as opposed to the real Fruit Roll-Ups, which were much smoother.

Luden’s Cherry Cough Drops

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Look, I’m not advocating 10-year-olds eating medicine as candy. I’m just reporting the facts. And the fact is that Luden’s were delicious, and came in the cutest little boxes! Much tastier than Sucrets. Though because I was always mad avant garde, I often chose the honey-lemon instead of cherry, and then people would be like, “Oh you have yellow ones? Can I try?” and I’d be like, “Yeah.” Instant friendships.

Bonbel and Babybel Cheese

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I think it threw my parents for a hot minute, their fourth-grade daughter coming home and adamantly asserting her need for cheese wrapped in wax. But at least cheese isn’t full of sugar and stuff, so they bought me my cheese. And when I tell you how excited I was all morning, waiting for snack time, so I could eat my cool cheese. Man. Half the fun was the wax, of course, peeling all around, then opening up the wax to reveal the cutest little round cheese! Then you could fidget with the wax all day until it melted in your hands or your teacher made you cut it out. And let’s not forget to mention the universal joy of a laughing cow. Though that led to near disaster, as my mom first bought the soft cheese in the metal – still good, but not as a school snack, and NOT the cool cheese.

Those little boxes of cookies with strings.

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Another one I could convince my parents to buy, because they were really cheap and while I chose my battles, you really did NOT want to take me on an hours-long shopping trip and not get me these cookies. They were very important to a kid’s social career and this snack really gave you a chance to Be An Individual, because there were three different kinds: animal crackers, chocolate ones, and chocolate chip ones. The animal crackers were tempting ’cause the box is so cool, plus, shapes! The chocolate chip ones had a tiger on the box and were tasty, and the most popular. I personally went for the pure chocolate ones that had a bear on the box; please see above, re: my avante gardeness.


Nerds

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I don’t really need to explain this one, do I? Nerds, dude!


Gum from a bag

Big League Chew, Razzles – anything that you could carry around with you and eat like a candy.


Artificially colored sugar in something clear.

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Whether it was those 20-for-a-dollar plastic barrels of sugar water, or those truly disgusting bottles of wax that you broke open. And while I’m thinking about it, you know what else were really disgusting? Candy lipsticks. There was a lot of really gross food running around back then.

But although the ’80s were a perfect time to have “cool foods,” this phenomenon isn’t new. Beverly Cleary has a marvelous storyline in Ramona Quimby, Age 8, where the in thing is to bring a hardboiled egg to lunch, just so you could crack it open over your head. One day, Ramona takes an uncooked egg, and you can imagine the great humiliation.

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In Little Women, Amy stages such a freakout over needing limes for snacks to fit in that despite the March family’s desperate poverty, limes were acquired.

And I’m not looking to start anything deep today, but I do wonder about that particular itch in the human spirit. Is it nature or nurture to desperately need to fit in, to seek out sameness in order to establish our individuality? I don’t know.

But I do know that while I will be buying the non-white bread and telling my kids that if they’re really hungry, they can eat something nutritious, I will still never underestimate the importance of “cool foods.”

What were your “cool foods?” If you have kids, what are theirs? And what’s a good way to balance being healthy parents with being kid-sympathetic parents, with regard to snacks?

©August 19, 2008

Posted in Books, Childhood, Food, School | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments