You may never have or hold a child

You will learn to lose everything

We are temporary arrangements

~ Alanis

When I was 16, I had so many names, for all of the seven children that I was definitely going to have. We did that egg experiment to teach you what it’s like to care for a child. My health teacher knew how much I wanted to be a mother; heck, I padded my belly for Career Day, no joke! I was going to marry my high-school boyfriend at 22, and then proceed to have aforementioned seven children.

So my health teacher gave me “triplets.” When my classmate kidnapped Emily Rose, I was devastated, even moreso when I found her hanging by a noose in my locker.

Then high-school boyfriend and I broke up, and in general, “Life is what happens when you’re busy making other plans” had its way with me.

I got back on track, even got married at a “reasonable” age when I was 27. But babies? Not so much.

Two weeks ago, I turned 40-freaking-years old, and my womb worries.. And I know I’m not alone. If I’m feeling this at 40, so are others.

And here we all are. I’ll probably have a boy if I do have a baby, because that’s how my family rolls!

But if it’s a girl, her name is Imogen. I’d not appreciated the name until realizing that there is no closer word to my favorite concept: Imagination ❤

If she existed, her nickname could be Immy or Genny – both cute. In the meantime, I’d raise this fictional daughter to question, to hope, to believe…

…to imagine.

Dunno if I’ll get a baby in the first place , never mind a pre-named kid full of purpose.

For now, I’d like to dream of a child that may never be mine, but will inspire others with her hopeful name, and beautiful purpose ❤