The long, hard wait is over! It’s time to review Tiffany’s second album! I remember liking it more than the first one — will I still feel the same way? INTRIGUE!

1. All This Time

THEN: This song had everything. EVERYthing! It was sad, dramatic, a ballad…plus, wistful belting! One night, Shannon and I were at a famous Krysi sleepover. We spent the entire night and next day working out an arrangement to singing this. Except Krysi wanted to sing the “One morrrre kissss” verse but she’d get really embarrassed and not sing. I sang the second verse, because, I mean, what 13-year-old girl could resist: “All these tears! And like a light, love disappears. But hearts are good for souvenirs, and memories are forever!” Amazing stuff. THEN to top it all off we met Krysi’s and my exboyfriends for rollerskating (as you do), singing the one song the entire way there, of course. God bless Krysi’s mother. Patience of a saint. So anyway, I was wearing my BEST college sweatshirt, and skated with this boy during couples only! And though he is the one who’d dumped me, he re-asked me out. I think it was the sweatshirt. Or maybe the stonewashed jeans. But I had to say no, because Tiffany had shown me the light about letting go.

NOW: I can’t say that this song holds its own the way that “Could’ve Been” does, but I still love this song. How could I not? You can’t have sleepovers, singing, AND couples only rollerskating memories so linked to a song and not luv it 4eva!

GRADE: B

2. Oh Jackie

THEN: This song pissed me off, because Tiffany totally bit off my line about every song on the radio reminding her of the person — that was MINE! I totally contributed it to Shannon’s sad ballad for Awttis a good eight months before this album came out! Plus this song was nowhere near as good as Shannon’s sad ballad for Awttis: “You arrrre much more than a friend to me, oh, and you are much more than I dreamed OF! I loved you, but thanks to me, I let it all slip away! Maybewe’llbeback together someday…” And they were! Now THAT’s music!

NOW: Wow, this song is dumb.

GRADE: D

3. Hold An Old Friend’s Hand

THEN: I really liked this song. I did actually think the lyrics were pretty trite (I know!), but it’s sort of hard not to be trite when it comes to friendship songs.

NOW: It’s kind of boring, but there are some genuinely beautiful moments in the song. Really!

GRADE: B-

4. Radio Romance

THEN: I just remember being very pissed that this was the second single from the album, when there were so many better songs to choose from! I did not like this song.

NOW: Okay, despite the fact that this was right after the “Dirty Dancing” phenomenon, and despite the fact that I was a 13-year-old girl, I am realizing that it totally went over my head that this song was supposed to be an homage or whatever to that doowoppy lalala teardrops genre. But that is maybe because the song still sucks. Which is not to say that I wouldn’t totally do it at karaoke if they had it.

GRADE: C

5. We’re Both Thinking About Her

THEN: No, it’s not about a threesome. It’s about Tiffany knowing that her man has a wandering eye. And she is totally “running out of time.” It’s very deep. Tiffany is SO resigned.

NOW: Um, this song doesn’t sound like it starts! WTF! It’s like, very tentative. I’m confused.

GRADE: C-

6. Walk Away While You Can

THEN: Nothing. I got nothing. I will tell you right now that with the exception of “All This Time,” I listened to this album during July/August 1989 — The Summer Of The Wack, Half-Broken Baseball Videogame. It was my brother’s, and the closest we got in our family to having a real live videogame! So of course I stole it every chance I got. That was my summer. Playing video baseball, reading Gone With The Wind, and listening to Tiffany. Not to be confused with 1990, the summer that I listened to Christian rock and read about serial killers.

NOW: Wait, what? Oh, yeah. Still isn’t ringing a bell. And NOT good at all.

GRADE: F

7. Drop That Bomb

THEN: Wait. Was I also on a summer long bender??? 1989 WAS the summer I was addicted to Diet Coke. I don’t remember this either.

NOW: This sounds…like The Jackson 5! What is going on? Am I on a bender NOW?

GRADE: C

8. It’s The Lover (Not The Love)

THEN: Ohhhhhhhh. Ohhhhhhh. I’m not even going to try to front about this song. Absolute, utter love. Gorgeous. Beautiful. Soooooo beautiful.

NOW: Something really extreme would have had to happen to destroy my love for this song. But I do think it’s still so great. It slips into triteness here and there, sure, but I actually really love the idea — about how being heartbroken is about people, but don’t give up on love itself. “It’s the lover not the love, who deserted you.” Awww. And Tiffany does a really pretty job here, vocally. She shows some restraint, and is less nasal than usual.

GRADE: A

9. I’ll Be The Girl

THEN: Erm…what?

NOW: Ditto. I don’t remember this at all. It’s boring though.

GRADE: D-

10. Hearts Never Lie

THEN: Oooookay. THIS, I remember. It’s a DUET!!! About love! From the ’80s! YAY!

NOW: “‘Cause our hearts never lie, they just feel the love! Try so hard to deny, there’s no reason to act like we don’t carrrrrre, when the truth is always there! Ohhhhh, hearts never lie — why should we?!”

Can’t argue with seamless logic like that. Nor can you (or at least I) deny the amazing power of the ’80s Love Duet.

(It’s really not that great though, as far as these things go.)

GRADE: B-

11. Overture

THEN: I don’t remember this either!

NOW: I’m confused. Have I just been into too many musicals — doesn’t an overture come first? No? Shouldn’t this be an UNDERture! HAHAHAH! No, but seriously. This is lovely and all I guess, but it’s weird and confusing to me. Like why it’s here and stuff. Was she trying to have musical street cred like Debbie Gibson? Did she even play guitar? That’s all this is! Why? WHY!

GRADE: ?

VERDICT: “Tiffany” kicks “Hold An Old Friend’s Hand” ass by FAR. What was I thinking back then?

© July 11, 2006