Heroes Slam Book: Season 3, Episode 4: I Am Become Death

Most Disappointing Award


First you say something really awkward involving the phrase “too many butterflies.” Then, rather than get into all sorts of shenanigans with Donna Reed Sylar, you disregard his big brotherly advice and in doing so, get him to fall off his power-hunger wagon, and cut open his and your brother’s head. All in all, not the most impressive showing.

Enabler of My “Heroes” Conspiracy Theories Award



Well first off, biggest props t0 Darling Niki’s son Levi (not to be confused with “Heroes” Niki’s son Micah), for calling this one better than anyone I know! Now I’d really like to know how the three of them are connected to everyone else, and also who this “Barbara” is. And I’m still thinking Claire and/or Elle are involved in some way.

Upon Whom is Bestowed


Nathan Petrelli

For seeing fit to marry the secret triplet sister of the multiple-personalitied chick who seduced him into his political and personal downfall.

Most Improved Award



Not because she (sort of) dies. And not because of her new refined hair (not pictured, and I like her crazy hair best, anyway). But because she married Greg Grunberg, which is always a sign of awesomeness:


I Told You So Award


Who was yelling at you when you were Isaac Mendez-ing it all over the place, and not in a good way? Besides Maya? Yes, me! This is why you got Most Disappointing the other week, and now here we are, with you pulling a Nick Stahl from “Sin City!” I don’t even know what to say to you. We’ll figure this out together, but for now…I just need some time.

Where are You Going with All This? Award


Claire — Two Weeks in a Row Winner!

I will not take it as a personal affront, that the week after I compliment your hair, you spend the next episode with it completely different. It looks very pretty with your eyes.  Unfortunately, your eyes are completely devoid of soul, and it’s really starting to piss me off. I understand that Sylar hurt you, in bigger ways than anyone can imagine. But maybe not being able to feel pain wasn’t the worst thing. Maybe you needed to stop being obsessed with your love of pain, and focus on the good you can do as a self-healer. And, as you’ve seen with your own eyes, sometimes an other-people healer. Instead, you focus on trying to inflict pain in others, since you can’t feel it yourself. That’s very sociopathic, and I hope you take a step back and do some soul-searching before you kill everyone you’ve ever cared about.

You and I Are Not Okay Right Now Award

Angela Petrelli

Look. I will listen to your side of the story, if you’d like to tell it. But is it true? That you sent Daphne, Knox, and Claire to get Peter? If so, you really, like, crossed me in two very bad ways, intentionally or not. One, Greg Grunberg is really heartbroken. That is never okay. Two, Sylar finally became a man, not a monster, and was father to a son he loved, Noah(!). He was finally happy, and that is all I have ever wanted for Sylar. Now he, because of his humanity, has died a monster. This better be something fixable, Ms. Petrelli. Or I am totally taking back my half of the BFF necklace.

Most Fucking Awesome:


Sylar — Also Two Weeks in a Row!

Yes, I realize you ex(im?)ploded, and set off a 4-mile radius bomb effect. But that is the whole point. You need unconditional love, and unfortunately, you tend to be very both outwardly and inwardly destructive when you feel you’re not getting it. Your mental idols dismissed you; your mother betrayed you a la Carrie’s mom; Maya looked one second too long away from you, and now the one person who truly loved you is dead. So I’m not going to turn my back on you, ’cause that never ends well, and also because, this is all future stuff. I think we can figure out a way to fix all this, but for now, dude, just calm down. Try to stop obsessing over people, and don’t ever teach anyone your power ever again. At least until further notice, lest I need to eat my words.

Recipient of



Isaac Mendez

If only Sylar hadn’t killed you, he’d never have exploded Costa Verde. Hmmm.

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