You know what I love? Vending machines. My job just moved buildings, and now we have new vending machines that have 7-11 food! Hot Pockets, burritos, those random sandwiches made of chicken and pork that even though I don’t really like chicken or pork always taste good because they are bathed in so much salt and breading and/or barbecue sauce. The machines even have yogurt! I kind of hate yogurt, but I might just start eating it because the machine is so cool and even gives you a spoon! And it’s Breyer’s, not that creepy liquid stuff that is really disgusting.

I don’t know where this obsession with vending machines comes from, but I know I’m not the only one who has it. Last year, I went bowling with some friends, and we spent the whole time we weren’t bowling or at the bar buying stuff from those machines with the bubble toys. It was all crap of course, but they had superhero necklaces, and we couldn’t stop until we had them all!

Maybe it’s because when I was younger, my family didn’t have much money, so I was never given quarters, or allowed to eat convenience food, and am now making up for lost time. I used to spend what felt like forever in Foodtown while my parents grocery shopped, and I’d pretend to be playing Ms. Pac-Man, since it does that demonstration thing when no one’s using it. But then some kids would inevitably come by and want to play, so I’d have to relinquish my spot, all envious of their quarters and actual power over the joystick.

For whatever reason, to this day, although I am pushing 30, I cannot resist the siren song of a machine that will give me stuff, and I’m therefore extremely excited by the vending machines in my office building. Now all they need to get is one of those Ms. Pac-Man/Galaga machines like on “The O.C.,” and our cafeteria will ROCK!

(Wow, I almost made it through an entire entry with no TV reference!)

© March 10, 2005