The other morning, I had off, could not sleep, and decided to watch some TV. Only there wasn’t anything on that I wanted to watch, so I wandered through the On Demand channel. The last time I’d checked LMN free movies on demand, I was struck by the gloriousness of such an option, but there wasn’t anything that I really wanted to watch, much less ICMN. However, this day was different, for guess what was “NEW!” but “Devil In the Flesh.” Several years ago, this came on Lifetime when I was alone in my Levittown apartment, and I was immediately hooked. Though this movie was not originally a Lifetime movie, it has pretty much everything one can hope for in a film that airs on that channel – high school, over-the-top shenanigans, and one of my favorite actresses, Rose McGowan. I adore that woman. She doesn’t usually do the most serious stuff, and IMO, that makes her cooler, because she plays the unapologetic vixen with aplomb. If another actress were cast in the lead…well, I’d likely still watch it, but can’t imagine it being as enjoyable. So with no further adieu:

Intentionally Cheesy Movie Night 23: Devil In the Flesh

This movie opens with 27 hours of Rose, staring into the distance, until we see that she is looking at a fire.

With that out of the way, here is the requisite pair of detectives. Their thing is that they quiz each other on words, both spelling and definition. They are joined by a blonde cop in shades, who speculates that the fire may have been arson. A knife is found in the rubble of the fire.

Rose is driven in a car by the child-services lady, who is taking Rose to live with her grandma. Rose said that her mom hated Grandma, and CSL looks concerned.

Cut to a televangelist talking about how Satan is behind sex, drugs, and rock-n-roll. Grandma is watching it, then answers the door to greet CSL and Rose. Long story short, Grandma is basically Carrie’s mom in Carrie.

Rose goes upstairs to her bedroom in a shot that looks like “Anne of Green Gables.” She makes a thousand different faces and looks at her room, which was her mom’s old bedroom. Then she goes downstairs and asks Grandma if she can go shopping. But no! She can wear her mom’s old clothes. Rose says I can’t wear those! And is told that as long as she is in Grandma’s house, she will wear what she is told to wear!

Cut to Rose sleeping in the dark. Grandma wakes her up to clean the attic. “Idle hands do the devil’s work!” So Rose dicks around in the attic for a little while and finds a shotgun.

Schooltime. Jocks in a Jeep across from Grandma’s house heckle Rose: “Nice dress!” and I guess it’s supposed to be a dorky dress, but I really like it – a plain gray jumper with big buttons and a black tee.

School hallway. Rose tries to open her locker and the Lead Douche Jock comes over and gives her a hard time until a teacher pushes him up against a locker, giving Rose a creepy smile. He tells Douche Jock to go away, then when Ezra also can’t open it via combination lock, he punches the locker open and Rose falls in love.

“Cute, huh?” says a girl who’s witnessed the exchange and is like a teenier (in size, not age) replica of the girl from “Brady Bunch Movie” who is in love with Marcia. “You better put your tongue back in your mouth; he’s way too old for you,” and she should know, because she is 32. Rose is not hearing it, because she is 27, herself.

The girl’s name is Janie, and she tries to make friends with Rose, but Rose only wants to discuss the teacher whom I shall dub Ezra Fitz. He fittingly teaches Creative Writing.

After school, Janie runs up to Rose again for some reason and they see some jocks, this time led by a dude named Todd who according to Ezra, doesn’t apply himself. Ezra bets Todd that if Ezra loses this b-ball matchup, he’ll give Todd an A in his class. But if Todd loses, he has to apply himself.

They play, and of course, Todd loses. To be fair, this scene, and Ezra’s moral of the story bet would be pretty cool, were it not for the fact that he’s totally all over the attention of Rose and also…

… “Mee-gan,” pronounced thusly. She is the Queen Bee, and threatened by Rose’s newfound position in the school as the object of male desire. Mee-gan’s line delivery is insanely close to Stacey Dash’s in “Clueless” and her face is eerily close to Jaime Pressly’s.

There is NO TIME for Ezra to catch some action off of the enamored teens however, because here is a gloriously generic Blonde Lady Friend of Men Not Boys, here to pick up Ezra whilst wearing a sundress. Rose glares, and Janie goes: “He’s madly in love with her.” Naturally, Rose responds with: “Take me shopping.”

So Rose and Janie go shopping, and in keeping with the ICM theme, Rose steals a bunch of stuff.

More detectives and their spelling bee. They ask an autopsy guy, who actually seems like a pretty decent actor, if there is a chance that either fire victim could have been stabbed.

Now that their day of impromptu basketball games and retail thievery (they shoplifted rather than shopped) has ended, Rose and Janie take the time to park on the Hollywood Hills. Rose pops open some champagne, and I have no idea where she got this champagne; I’m not surprised that Rose would have random hooch on her person at all times, but when did she acquire this big-ass bottle of champagne?

No time to wonder, because Rose pulls out not only the skirt she’s stolen for herself, but a matching one for Janie and SPOILER ALERT; both the gun and the skirt from the first act, go off in the third. Anyway, for some reason, Janie is SHOCKED that Rose has stolen the skirt(s) and tells Rose, “You’re bad.” Rose replies, “In a good way.” With that scintillating dialogue out of the way, they cheers to “Friends!” and lie down on the car.

Those watching the movie at home in hopes of Sapphic action are sorely disappointed, because Rose then goes home. Grandma is super nice and has made cookies. Rose is touched and shows her Soft Side Despite Things. Until! She sees the ghosts/corpses of her mother and mother’s boyfriend, still all burnt up from the fire. But lo! Rose wakes up on the roof of the car; that was a dream, and she tells Janie, “My grandma’s gonna kill me.”

So Rose goes home for realz, and Grandma freaks out. Rose says that it’s only 8 o’clock, but Grandma is mad that the attic’s not clean. In so many ways, this movie is right on the cusp of being an interesting sociological study, like the idea that this woman, albeit Carrie’s mom caricature-crazy, thinks that the arrival of a minor in her home equates to having an indentured servant versus the idea that kids should know how to do chores, and Rose obviously needs some “structure and fucking discipline” TM “American Beauty’s” Jane.

But instead, this movie keeps going for the ridiculous cartoon aspect (not that I’m complaining), and Grandma SLAPS Rose in the face and says that Rose won’t turn into a foul-mouthed tramp like her mother! Tomorrow? Rose is going to clean the garage AND the attic, while I wonder about the order of those two words and ensuing inflection by Grandma who, for all of her over-the-top Carrie’s momness, is actually a decently scary actress.

New day. Rose is walking to school, strips off her hoodie, and transforms into Stephanie Kaye.

Rose walks into class clad in the stolen skirt from aforementioned scene, and a black top that looks like a bikini from 1960s Archie comics. She hands Ezra an apple, and then Ezra goes to write on the board and actually says under his breath, “Oh…MY…,” as he puts his sexual tension into the chalk.

Mee-gan hands out assignments, because Ezra only acknowledges his hot students, whether they be male or female, and Mee-gan throws Rose’s assignment at her dismissively, causing it to fall to the ground. Natch, Rose trips her and Mee-gan goes sprawling, and I’m pretty much on Rose’s side for this battle.

The bell rings; class is over! And even as I type, I’m realizing the angle by which Ezra was written in general: He’s a teenage girl himself, as he is all “OMG, kids, I just toats realized that I’m having a garage sale this weekend! LOL and teehee because I don’t have anyone to help me! Can any of YOU help me, hint hint, wink wink?”

Mee-gan runs up to offer her services, but Rose is scarier and Veronica Lodge to the extreme, so Mee-gan’s intimidated/butthurt (I don’t know, Mee-gan makes the same exact expression in every single scene). Ezra, in all his infinite perv glory, tells them that they can both come to his place this weekend to *help.*

Lawn/quad/whatever the expanse of greenery in television and movies is. Mee-gan and Rose have a “confrontation” over Ezra. Rose intimidates Mee-gan until Mee-gan pushes Rose down and says “Don’t show up on Saturday – you or the freak.” Freak meaning I guess Janie, but really aside from her edgy wrist tattoo and being 37, I don’t get what is so freakish about Janie.

Detectives on Rose’s lawn! They want to talk, but Rose says no way. One of the detectives goes, “Oh yeah, she’s gonna be a lot of fun….” Shut up, One Of The Detectives.

The detectives try with Grandma, but she says no and slams the door. So the detectives commence with their spelling bee. This movie is so awesome.

Rose writes in her journal to Ezra. She’s doodled flowers. Then she goes to bed, and can I just say that everything in this movie takes extra long? Like you would think that with only 88 minutes to spare, they could find some stuff to fill in the downtime, but no. Two minutes of watching Rose McGowan go to sleep, it is.

Unfortunate scene with Ezra and his girlfriend. They go to have sex, and it’s creepy. The whole taking-too-long thing in this movie? Yeah. There’s a lot of awkward thrusting, which obvi turns into a talk about the upcoming weekend. Girlfriend has rearranged her entire weekend schedule as a flight attendant to go on a vacation with Ezra, but Mr. Pervy Pants refuses to postpone his garage sale. “Two students gave up their Saturdays! And they’re pretty hot, and have crushes on me for some reason!” He only says the first sentence, but come on now. So girlfriend whose name is Marilyn says this happens all the time. Marilyn is very placeholder and not interesting at all, but I totally am on her side for this exchange. She tells him she’s going to try to get her hours back and needs time away from Ezra, dresses, and leaves. Ezra emits an anemic “Marilyn,” totally doesn’t go after her at all, and lies back down.

Welcome back, Douche Jock! Not Todd, the blonde one who is constantly wearing his letterman jacket. He walks up to Rose while she changes on the street into Stephanie Kaye, and steals her shirt. Rather than play his game, Rose simply takes off her bra and he freaks out. I must say that Rose McGowan acts the hell out of this scene. I love her in general, but she’s extra good as she trolls Douche Jock, and acknowledges her topless vulnerability in a very subtle way, while owning that this is the only way to deal with guys like Douche Jock. He gives her shirt back and when she walks away (no longer topless, to be clear), Rose says “Is this fun for you?” DJ answers, “Haha, yeah.” Rose replies, “You don’t know what fun is.”

School. Mee-gan wanders around in like, gray sweats for some reason, and Rose finds the opportune time to push her down the stairs. “Ow my leg!” Mee-gan cries. Janie comes up to Rose in all the ersatz commotion and Rose says, “Guess she won’t be making it to the garage sale.” Janie is concerned.

Detectives, asking to speak to the principal. They ask the receptionist about Rose – oh they are at Rose’s former school, not current. The receptionist says that Rose had “a nasty crush on Mr. Roberts.” It went on for months, and Rose got suspended for stalking, and THEN Mr. Roberts got involved with Rose’s mother 😮 And I’m sorry, but the only media I’ve seen to make me okay with a mom dating the teacher-crush of her daughter is “Parenthood.” Perhaps Rose just becomes obsessed with high school teachers who were douches anyway. Because that shit is wack, and while I blame her for ostensibly killing her mom and her teacher? I do not blame her for being pissed.

New scene! Grandma finds Rose’s Stephanie Kaye clothes and hits Rose in the back with her cane.

Nighttime. Grandma is in bed with her dog. The dog wakes up, as treats keep falling for it, leading it to the attic. Rose locks him in a trunk and throws in a can of some kind while saying, “Hasta la vista, baby,” and this is the point at which Rose really started to lose me forever, because poor puppy.

Okay. Now Rose is wearing her skimpiest outfit yet, albeit super cute and I totally would wear it if I had her body. Problem is, she’s off to stupid Ezra’s garage sale. They have a “conversation,” and Ezra in his infinite wisdom shares his relationship woes with Rose.

Garage sale. Rose helps set up, sporting maximum cleavage, and bamp chicka wow wow music plays on the soundtrack. Then they stand around and wait for customers and where is this movie taking place? Granted, my garage sale experience is limited to two or three, but never in my life, if you advertise the sale ahead of time, do you wait for the customers. And even if this waiting around does happen in places, all the more for Marilyn to be UBER pissed. I know a lot of women are pretty chill in general. I strive and often fail at being one myself. That said, I do not know any woman who would be okay with her boyfriend cancelling a planned weekend getaway to go hang out with nearly naked Rose McGowan alone at his house.

Garage sale in full effect – aka, two customers are there. Janie shows up. Ezra compliments Janie’s tattoo (SPOILER! THIS SEEMINGLY UNENTHRALLING SCENE IS IMPORTANT!), and puts his arm around Rose (shut up, Fitz), while Janie takes a picture of them, then calls out Rose on being a ridiculous stalker. “Why don’t you just grab his (bleep!),” she says. No really, I mean bleep, dunno her actual word.

Grandma is looking for her poor dead dog. She opens a book that she finds – Rose’s journal 😮

Garage sale. Rose: “We make a good team.” Ezra: “Yeah we do.” Shut up. All of you.

Rose needs to go in the house for some reason and for some reason the house is locked, so Ezra in his infinite wisdom tells Rose that the spare key is under the pot. So Rose goes in the house and overhears Marilyn leaving a message on the answering machine message saying, “We need to talk.” Rose deletes the message, then writes the answering machine password on her arm. Because when you’re naked and stalking someone, the best place to be surreptitious is on your bare skin.

Rose sniffs Ezra’s shirts in the closet a la Annette Bening in “American Beauty,” minus the sympathy points. A box falls out that is filled with an inordinate number of Shirtless Ezra Pics, but eventually we see that Marilyn is in a pic or two. Rose rips up a pic of the two of them together; then when Ezra wanders in, she says the call was a wrong number.

Ezra drives Rose home and it is dark. Why?! Garage sales start at like 3 in the morning; why is it all dark now?

Grandma watches them as they say goodbye.

Ezra drives home and shakes his head. “(Ezra, Ezra, Ezra) – they didn’t make ‘em like that when I was in school.” Shut UP, Ezra! First of all, Rose is in her 30s! So your point is still vaguely salient! Second of all, shut UP! Because you were, in fact, aware when you pursued high school teaching as a career, that teenagers often times have womanly bodies?

Ugh. People like Ezra piss me off on more levels than I can convey at this particular moment. Because I know for Solid Fact that countless men are more than capable of both caring about their teenage students, and keeping their penises in their pants.

Rose goes inside her house, trying to be quiet, and goes in her room. Grandma is SO CREEPILY standing behind Rose’s door, and calls Rose a blasphemous slut. “You’re a whore just like your mother,” etc. Grandma has read Rose’s journal and says she is going to call the police, the school, and the child-services lady or as Grandma calls her, “that Asian woman!”

So Rose hits Grandma in the face with her cane. Grandmas asks for mercy. Rose replies:

“Mercy? You never showed me any mercy. My mother never showed me any mercy. And now I don’t have any mercy! It’s a family thing.”

And Rose kills Grandma through a window shot.

Cut to two guys from church taking the trunk that the dog was in. They wish Grandma a speedy recovery.

Rose enjoys having the house to herself. The TV evangelist is still spouting, and Rose kills the television, a move that I have to question. There are other channels, Rose.

Ezra arrives home to candles and music. He thinks it’s Marilyn. A shower is running. But it is Rose! She got in with his spare key. Ezra’s gotten a fit of conscience, and tells Rose “We will discuss this when you’re dressed!” But he stays in his robe! Ezra tells her that she has to leave. She flirts. He acts innocent and indignant. They go back and forth for 47 hours in a “Is too! Is not!” conversation.

Classroom, the next day. Ezra sees, in a fitting scene to his name, that Rose is not in his classroom. Another teacher brings Ezra a bouquet of red roses. Ezra, dumbass that he is, assumes they’re from the woman he shunned to ostensibly bonk his students, but the teacher is like “They’re from someone else.”

All overheard by Janie, because when Janie is not stalking Rose, she is at her locker, which makes sense, because the truancy officers stop looking for you once you reach 34.

House Formerly Known As Grandma’s. Rose calls Ezra and checks his messages, via the code written on her arm. And who else is calling but Marilyn! She wants to meet him for dinner at a nearby hotel. “We need to talk.” Rose calls the hotel and leaves a message that we don’t hear.

Detectives! Telling Child-Services Lady that they need family info on Rose. CSL says she’ll talk, so long as it’s off the record.

Rose writes in her diary. Douche Jock knocks on the door, saying that he came to check on her, but then tries to fuck her as if this was “Game of Thrones” and Rose is DJ’s birthright. Rose says she is seeing someone, and he guesses she means Ezra. He mocks her and threatens to tell the principal, so Rose offers a trade: her sex for his silence. Being the walking penis that he is, DJ agrees, and follows Rose to the attic.

In another scene that’s not nearly as good as Rose McGowan’s acting, she seems like she’s going along with the trade, until DJ gets all rough and rapey with her. She kicks him in the balls, then stabs him with something – a fire poker? – and he falls down the stairs.

Cut to Rose digging DJ’s grave and uttering whimsical lines such as “No means no.”

New scene: Marilyn gets into Ezra’s bed and starts kissing him. But sometimes it’s Real!Marilyn; sometimes it’s Rose. It’s actually Ezra’s dream.

Principal’s office, she wants a meeting with Ezra, then asks if everything is okay. He says yes and tries to leave, but the principal brings up getting too close to a student. Ezra (rightfully) assumes that this is about Rose, and thinks it’s the teacher from the other day with the roses, but it was not. The principal lets Ezra and the audience at home know that it’s about the basketball game: “Gambling for grades?” Ezra, shitting his pants with relief, says he will stop, and leaves.

CCL knocks on Former Grandma’s door. When there is no answer, she goes around back, through the gate, and sees the fresh grave that Rose has dug for DJ. It’s not obvi-obvi though, so when Rose says hi, CCL is all, hi!

Former Grandma’s kitchen. Rose gives CCL some tea. CCL asks what happened to her face (due to the almost-rape fight with DJ), and CCL assumes it was Grandma. Rose goes along with CCL’s assumption, and says that Grandma won’t be doing that anymore. DUM DUM DUMMMMMMMMMM!

CCL says she is sorry, and I have to say that CCL is one of the most sympathetic characters in this entire glorious debacle otherwise known as a movie. Even in the first scenes, CCL seemed very concerned about Rose’s familial travesty, and just even acting-wise, she’s very natural and truly doing the best she can with the material.

So but yeah, CCL is sorry but Rose will have to go with her. They go back and forth – Rose says she likes it here and in a weird way I feel for her, because she’s still a minor who’s had to live with mean dictatorial authority figures and now finally doesn’t, but I also feel for CCL, and know she is right, as she tells Rose that it’s her job to take any child out of an abusive situation, and Rose just flat-out alluded to the fact that Grandma is/(was) a sheer psycho.

But you know, Rose is not necessarily one for the subtleties of life’s lessons, so she takes the teapot and I thought she was just going to throw the water in CCL’s face, but Rose instead hits her with it. And again in a weird way, I give Rose props for improvisational imagination. She reminds me of Buffy Summers, in that respect.

And so anyway, Rose tells CCL’s unconscious body that she can’t go; she has a date.

Okay, remember how Marilyn left a message about having dinner with Ezra? Well, she made the reservation at the restaurant that exists everywhere, on every show, in every movie. You’ll know what I mean if you see it. There’s a rounded red booth. And speaking of if you’ve ever watched a movie or a television show, you will not be surprised to learn that Marilyn is not there at all; it is Rose! Rose introduces Ezra to the two guys at the neighboring table, who have no reason to be there, aside to further the “plot.” When Ezra says to Rose, “Let’s go,” the two guys defend Rose, and they fight with Ezra in an outtake scene from “Frasier.”

Marilyn shows up and thank God, because I missed her. Jk, she shows up to meet Ezra. They sit on the steps; she asks what’s going on, and he says I don’t know.

^^^ Slow clap, that was mesmerizing, guys. ^^^

Marilyn drives Ezra home and it’s like 5 am. These people don’t seem to do anything fun ever, yet they stay out for record amounts of time. Anyway, the sun is coming up and Rose is sitting on Ezra’s stoop.

Can I ask a quick, half-rhetorical question? Am I just a crazy, jealous bitch, or do women in the movies more often than not seem maturely resigned to crazy-ass hot chicks sitting on their boyfriends’ property? Like if I went away for a weekend to clear my head from my boyfriend’s method-acting of Ron Livingston in “Pretty Persuasion,” only to come back to one of his “garage-sale buddies” waiting for him as the sun came up? I would not nearly be as calm as Marilyn, especially when the following transpires:

Rose: Thank God you’re all right.

Ezra: You need help. I don’t love you.

Rose: (SLAP! In Ezra’s face.)

Rose: It’s her (Marilyn). That’s why you’re being like this?

Ezra: This game stops now.

I’d be like wow boyfriend, thanks for blowing off our weekend that I took off for, in order to have this wondrous chick not lose a Saturday.

Former Grandma’s House. Rose burns all of her words for Ezra in a candle and cries. Then she burns his picture.

Hey, Autopsy Guy! You’re pretty awesome. And AG tells the detectives that yes, there were definitely stab wounds of seemingly malicious intent.

Detectives again! They’re now at the principal’s office and continue their riveting spelling bee. I keep mocking the spelling bee but will give props in that this is my 23rd ICM. Most of those movies have traditional cop/detective duos. At least this one strives for originality! Meanwhile, the principal, another pretty cool actress, corrects one of the detective’s definitions, and that was kind of badass.

Ezra goes into the principal’s office, because he wants to speak to her! He does not know that the detectives are there, but there…they are, and the principal introduces everyone. Ezra’s come to complain about Rose; the detectives are there to talk to Rose – everyone’s a winner! But they can’t locate Rose, and know about the “altercation” last night at Ezra’s house. So Ezra tells them that she’s full of delusions.

One detective tells the principal that Rose’s mom may have killed her dad, so Rose has grown up surrounded by violence and even before her dad’s death, both of Rose’s parents abused her.

“Mercy? You never showed me any mercy. My mother never showed me any mercy. And now I don’t have any mercy! It’s a family thing.”
~ Rose

“Whoever fights monsters should see to it that in the process he does not become a monster. For when you look long into an abyss, the abyss also looks into you.”
~ Gavin De Becker

So IMO, that’s actually really sad. But in the meantime, Rose has called – it’s an emergency!

They all go to Rose’s/Former Grandma’s house. She won’t answer the door, and says that only Ezra can come in.

Rose sits on the steps with the shotgun from the attic. When the detectives try to outwit her and come in despite her orders, she shoots the detective in the leg.

“Why won’t you love me?” Rose asks no one in particular.

Oh I guess she meant Ezra, who tries to diffuse the situation, saying Rose can trust him and he will stick by her. He begs her to come out.

Then there is a shot!

And Ezra goes into the room. The actor does a nice job of showing despondence at Rose’s suicide – it must be Rose! She’s wearing a skanky outfit and the skirt Rose was wearing that very day! So Ezra and company assume that Rose is out of the picture.

Marilyn drives up to Ezra’s house. Apparently, pervy negligence has fallen by the wayside, for there are groceries to put away.

Ezra drives.

Marilyn puts on a cassette tape of elevator music and ties her hair in a scrunchie.

Ezra drives, and there is an admittedly chilling flashback to his noticing Janie’s tattoo, and then to his vision of the dead girl, and he realizes “Oh no.”

Marilyn dries her face in a particularly riveting scene. The lights dim, and there is Rose behind her!

They fight.

Ezra drives faster, because his 11th-hour self-realization of douchebaggery is quite the force to be reckoned with! Sirens come! Oh no, you think, but Ezra at 47 has finally grown brains in both the literal and figurative sense, and is like, “Follow me, cops!”

More Rose/Marilyn fighting, and Marilyn smashes a vase on Rose’s head, a la Julia Roberts in “Satisfaction.”

PLAN FAIL! As one of the cops who’d been on a motorcycle spins out.

“You bitch! He’s mine!” Rose yells as she beats Marilyn’s head into the ground, and while I have a low tolerance for visual violence in general, that is one thing I especially never really can take. It was terrifying in the opening scene of “Lean on Me,” back then, and it’s terrifying in “Devil in the Flesh,” right now.

The cops have regathered, and try to arrest Ezra! They are not trying to hear his pleas about how Rose is a crazy killer.

I guess sometimes lessons have to be illustrated, as Rose cuts the cop’s throat, and then holds the knife to Marilyn’s neck.

Ezra: Rose, there’s no need to kill her.

Rose: Peter, we need some time alone.

And as an additional side note, Rose McGowan got saddled with some corny-ass lines, but she delivers the humor as well as any actress could, and I mean that as a compliment. Additionally, she really acts the hell out of this scene, in general.

Ezra: It’s just you and me, Rose. I love you.

Rose looks super happy until Ezra lunges at her, at which point she stabs him in the shoulder with a knife.

They fight. Ezra wins, because he is the unfortunate moral compass of this cinematic travesty.

Marilyn rushes to Ezra, because who wouldn’t want a neglectful boyfriend who can only get a hardon around his teenage students?

Sirens in the background!

Cops arrive!

Poor stupid Ezra is getting put into a fire truck on a stretcher, while….

…Rose, still alive, gets put into the back of a cop car, who handles her gently, despite her marauding murderousness. She looks up at him, another Male Authority Figure, smiles, falls in love, and –

FREEZE FRAME!