1. Chip disturbing sleep by somehow setting off alarm clock at 3 a.m.

2. Dr. von Rockenstein scratching at window all night like vampire brother in “Salem’s Lot.”

3. David Lee Roth airing call from casino owner, making me think of article read in Marie Claire.

4. Forgetting to get out of bed.

5. No natural light in apartment, causing it to feel like one universal time until I step outside.

6. FX airing “Selfless,” one of my favorite, if not my favorite, Season Seven “Buffy” episodes.

7. Crying at “Buffy.”

8. Using new soap, getting lost in aromatherapy.

9. Chip making run in pantyhose for carefully planned outfit.

10. Lack of desire to wear fancy shoes for carefully planned outfit.

11. Digging out jeans for new, unplanned outfit.

12. “New Messages!”
“New Picture Comments!”
“New Blog Comments!”

13. TBS airing beach club episodes of “Saved by the Bell.”

14. Wondering why Mr. Carosi was such an asshole to gang even after knowing they were friends with Lisa Turtle.

15. Thinking Lisa was big bitch for being nasty to Screech when all he was doing was waiting on her spoiled, rich ass.

16. Getting distracted by alarmingly low number of “Wooooooooo!”s in episode.

17. Debating whether bacon heated in microwave would start fire behind my back.

18. Unprecedented motivation to do makeup in mirror rather than car.

19. Unprecedented motivation to make hair look decent.

20. Unprecedented motivation to accessorize.

21. Wondering how SBTB gang still so bad at ad libbing after 20 years.

22. Losing Chip, worrying he’s in garbage bag again.

23. Finding him when he goes shooting across room like white cannonball.

24. Forgetting swipe cards and money at home.

25. Going back to get them because, why not?

© February 1, 2006