So I heard this morning that Ewan McGregor is going to be starring in “Guys and Dolls” in London. And you know, good for him and all. But here’s the thing: he has already stated that he will not sign any autographs on “Star Wars” memorabilia. This really irks me.

Disclaimer: I heard this on the radio. If it isn’t true, I will take this down! So you know, Ewan McGregor, if you eagerly await my new blogs and are now all crestfallen and/or perturbed, set me straight if I’m wrong.

However, if it is true — what the hell? Now, I get that “Star Wars” fans can be scary and annoying. I’ve never been a Trekkie, or a…Warrie or anything. But I am an extremely avid “Buffy” lover, so I know from terrifying fans. The fanfiction alone is enough to induce nausea and nightmares. And mention on the boards to a B/A shipper that you are a B/S shipper, or just try telling the people on that one W/T site that sawry, sawry, but really and truly there were episodes after “Entropy,” and you’ve got World War Three on your hands.

But I digress. My point is, don’t bite the hand that feeds you, McGregor! We all know youre a Very Serious Actuh. Still, no one forced you to make tons and tons of money playing one of the most well-known fictional characters of all time, you know, EVER. I’ve always admired actors who smartly manage their careers, making big money movies here and there to help them afford to do the projects they really care about. I, however, really do NOT admire when actors get loads of money to do big movies, then bitch about those big movies while they’re off being artsy-fartsy. Because, seriously. Leonardo DiCaprio getting a bit thrown by the “Titanic” craze is one thing. A lot of people expected that movie to tank, and anyway, it was a stand-alone piece. The “Star Wars” prequels? Three of the most highly anticipated movies of all time. You HAD to know what you were getting into! I mean, you just had to!

So it’s great that you’re getting to do a musical in London, and very lovely of you to take a pay cut in order to do it. But, please, Ewan. Be a bitch about autographs or don’t be, but don’t start dickering about which fans are cool enough to sit with you at the lunch table.

And don’t ever put me in the position of defending Leonardo DiCaprio again.

© April 15, 2005